Lisa rode in my car today, and said "Well, I can tell you're not cheating on me, because your car is such a mess." Like there was a chance I was going to be cheating on her anyway.
"If you were cheating on me you'd keep your car clean, she said, and you wouldn't have all this junk on the passenger seat. A Wal Mart bag? Old Kleenex? A dog poop bag? Candy wrappers? A bag of bulk corn-nuts? Definitely not cheating."